The picture of my Tatar grandmother Flora as a girl

I barely remember my grandmother being so carefree and radiant as on this photo (and I certainly can't remember her at that age).

She didn't come across as a sentimental person and didn't laugh very often, but this picture in its special frame was standing in her sideboard for many years, and I got it only after she had passed away in July 2015...

I remember the rare moments when I managed to make her smile, and in those moments I could recognize this childish playful expression. When I look at this photograph now, I can see some of her features in my daughters, and it is as if she is sending me her support through them.

I don't know as much about her as I'd like. And her entire Tatar branch of the family and their history are somewhat blurred for me, a lot of it is still a mystery — compared, for example, with the Georgian branch on my mother's father side or the history of my father's family, which was very well researched by the family "official documentarian" — my brother. By the way, I was very inspired by the book "Zuleikha Opens Her Eyes" by Guzel Yakhina, because she told about the life of Tatars during the Soviet times very accurately and deeply, albeit in the form of fiction.

Twenty five years ago I was lucky to meet my grandmother's uncle Kashaf and talk to him a little about Tatar relatives, he was writing memoirs by hand just then, and I got a small part of them, even took pictures of them, but with all the moving around the world and losing many archives, I can't find paper or electronic versions of it yet. I'll keep looking.

I am grateful to my grandmother for doing some brave things despite her health, including giving life to my mother, and by extension, to me and my daughters. I want my children and their descendants to know her story and see her face as it is on this photo, so that they keep recognising her smile in their kids.