Happiness

What does the word “happiness” mean, and what makes me happy? There is a Russian saying: one person complains that his pearls are too small, another – that his soup is too thin. Everyone has their own idea of happiness, and the criteria for this state change as life goes on. The more I observe myself and others, the more I become convinced that perhaps a person cannot be happy in principle. Or if they can, then only for a very brief moment.

   Right now, happiness for me means not feeling like an outcast. It means freedom.

The freedom to speak and to choose. The freedom to access the information I need. The freedom not to be afraid.

   But I live in a reality where much of this is unavailable. I cannot freely express my views – it is dangerous. And the saddest part is that I cannot change the situation: any attempt to influence what is happening will not bring results, but it can destroy my life. This is not cowardice, but rather a rational understanding that such a struggle would resemble Don Quixote fighting windmills.

   And yet, I still try to make the world a little better – at least through the stories I write for children and adults, where I weave in knowledge about science, caring for nature, and being attentive to others. This does not change global processes in any significant way, but it gives me a certain feeling – if not happiness, then at least that sense of “I did everything I could.”

   At the same time, I work and study a lot, trying to change my life and eventually move to another, freer country. Will I be happy there? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. Because the idea of happiness changes, and one day I will probably be worried about something else, without feeling happy at all.

   Thus, happiness is not about ideal circumstances. It is the ability to live in a way that allows you to be yourself without fearing that you will have to pay too high a price for it. And at the same time, happiness is also found in small things that can brighten the day: a ladybug crawling across a leaf, a flock of hopping sparrows, or even the smile of a passerby who is also watching those funny little birds. These tiny moments do not solve big problems, but sometimes they are the ones that remind us that life is still going on – and that there is still room for happiness in it, even if it is very small.